Thursday, October 23, 2014


Sometimes I terrify myself and think that real love doesn't exist.  I haven't had the best role models. Lots of short marriages that end in hostile divorces in my family.  Right when I thought my life had regained it's stability, my entire life is shaken right to the foundation.  And all I can think is, this can't be happening to me again.

Being a child of divorce is extremely difficult, especially when one parent decides to move away. This kind of childhood would make you think I'd have trouble knowing what real love is.  I know I've read countless articles about how "children of divorce don't know anything about relationships."  But to be honest, I think it's taught me more about them.  What to watch out for, what not to do, and how to make them work.
If there is one thing that I have learned by experience, it's that communication can make or break a marriage.  Truly.  You need to spend time together alone, and if you don't, that's just a dark path to nowhere.  Becoming emotionally distant doesn't help anybody.  After being in a relationship for quite a few years, I've learned that a great one is built on trust, communication, and honesty.  Without that, everything falls apart.

After witnessing quite a few marriages fail, I have an idea.  An idea that I'm sure has been thought of before, and is somewhere in the deepest darkest reaches of Pinterest...but if not, here goes!

Who doesn't love being reminded that they're loved?  I know I do, and this is something I plan on doing in the earliest stage of my marriage.  When you first get married, you're overwhelmed with all sorts of happy emotions, that "new car smell," if you will.  Don't lose that.  Take a piece of paper, some note cards, whatever you want, and have each other write down everything you're feeling. Write down why you're so happy, write down everything that you love about one another, why you chose to spend the rest of your life with them.  Put those into a box, and don't read them again.

Every time your marriage gets difficult, break out the box.  Read a few messages you wrote to/about one another.  This may remind you why you chose to spend your life with this one amazing person out of billions, and that you may have just lost touch.

Don't go through what I've gone through.  Don't force your kids to go through what I've gone through.  Love can last.  It isn't easy, but it can.  It is the most important thing to me, right next to happiness.  What is a life without love?  Make sure you hold onto it when you find it.


  1. This is a very good idea of the box! I'm still very young and I'm not married, but I really like the idea and keep that one in mind for sure!

  2. I am also a child of divorce and boy was it a learning experience, for all of us involved. I 100% agree that communication is key and so is honesty. Even if being honest leads to an argument, at least you were honest. I love the little note/ box idea. It is imperative that couples constantly remind one another and spend alone time with each other…that way they don't lose their connection.