Tuesday, October 14, 2014

I OWE MY MOM A COUCH


Man was a weird kid.  I spent most of my time playing with Polly Pockets, because "Barbies are lame, mom," or trying to get the newest coolest Pokémon cards.  I think this is true for most, you don't really remember much from when you were a kid, but there are a few memories that for some reason just stick with you.

Just a few examples...The horror I felt when my mom picked me up from school with dyed hair (because what kid likes change, right?), the amazing chef of a teenage babysitter I had (all she ever cooked was ramen noodles, but I thought I was eating like a king), and how much that cut on my chin hurt when I tried to shave it like my dad.

Now the funniest memory I can think of is the time I copied not my dad, but my mom.  Her feet always looked so pretty and polished, I wanted to look just as glamorous.  So I lifted my pamper-covered booty up on the counter to my moms nail polish box.  I dug through all of the colors and decided on a bright red.  I hopped up on the couch, and proceeded to paint my ENTIRE foot.  Both of them.  Along with half of the couch.


When my mom discovered my work of art, she rushed the pillows to the washroom.  As far as I know, she used her magic mom powers to wash them clean.  But being the wonderful lady she is, she didn't even get mad at me.  She just laughed.  Of course I was punished, because how else would I learn my lesson?  But she thought it was funny and kinda cute.  I even asked her what she thought was the funniest thing I had ever done, and this is exactly what she told me:  "When you tried to paint your toenails red and ended up painting your whole foot and the couch instead."

Ah, moms.  Gotta love 'em.  And seriously, props to you for not killing me in these past 20 years.



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